I want to take you on a hypothetical adventure, if such a thing exist. What I am saying is, actually, that I do not want to say any of what is described below is real. Could be though.
Let us say, its sunday, its July and some football match is on. This adventure is about that day and ofcourse there is a girl involved, adventures always have girls - otherwise where is the adventure?
I got a phonecall from her saying she had the most wicked tanktop to wear tonight. It was orange, and it made her look hot. I would only like to say here (hypothetically) once I saw it, I could only agree on that last point, although it was not a tanktop.
But I am getting ahead of myself. That, and also I am supposed to be ignorant of fashion, so how would I know what a tanktop is.
"Please tell me you have the camera with you Alex" was the question I needed to answer. Seeing as I got 3 text messages about it, ofcourse I packed it. Hell hath no fury...so ofcourse I did as I was told to avoid any stress reactions. And by stress reactions I could hypothetically mean a lot of crap for no reason what so ever. But maybe let's just keep that between us. On the other hand, I did just make this all up, no truth to be read here, only fiction.
Being a person that buys stuff to never really use it to its full potential, I instantly got to questioning myself though.... 'what would she be photographing - It's a football match, in Flushing (Vlissingen in English - according to Google) for crying out loud'. But anyway, bring the camera I did.
My E.T.A. was 18:30 which I told the lovely lady, after which we broke off communication, radio silence if you will.
I arrived at my place of semi-permanent residence in Terneuzen. Since I took on a highly important job here I came to call this place my second home. It feels so much like home now it has gotten to the point where I don't feel silly when I ask the bartender for a shaken Vodka Martini. Yes you got it. In 'adventures of lesser importance' I imagine myself James Bond. If it is fiction I want to fiction myself a lethal killing machine who is good with the ladies. Genius? I think so.
I got the instructions to show up at her room, do our secret call
after which I was supposed to enter.
To my horror (surprise, followed by a deep sense of betrayal, then I lol'd) I found a 'tanktop' worn by woman looking very hot. Unfortunately....the 'tanktop' was of red color. We had taken on the role of supporting the team which had orange as their main color. After I told her this, I was being called a fool and colorblind for about ten minutes. After those ten minutes I asked the receptionist what she thought of the color of the 'tanktop'. The discussion stopped there, two against one made the girl see her wrong purchase. She then went above and beyond to fabricate an alibi. She failed. Orange lights in the shop, or even; if you look in to the sun very long and then at my boobs eyes up pls, hypothetically tanktop, its orange.
After this, we went to my car, I would be driving since I we both agreed her drivingstyle was just wrong.....plain wrong. I tell you who doesnt get to drive my motorcycle once I get the balls to pick it up from the dealer.....
There we went to Flushing. We were planning to eat and see the match, this plan would fail. That night we had Pringles for diner, quite a lot of Pringles. Talk about gyming for nothing for the next 2 weeks.
Before the match started and during half time (I am sorry, I am not going to mention the match itself) I figured out what the camera was for. We were to make pictures on the beach. I was happy with the good feedback I got from the pictures. This mysterious girl was really dissappointed with my photo taking skills in the past - Even when it was so painfully obvious that it was not my skill, it was the absence of light that made the pictures of sucky quality. Here is a girl that wants to make pictures of the sunset when the sun was technically gone from view 'but the sky was still glowing orange'. And then please imagine the horror on her face when all you see on those pictures is actual darkness with a vague orange stripe, followed by the question 'where did you buy that stupid camera'.
It is at this point I want to appologise for the lenght of this post. I just don't want to miss any details. If you like brief and short messages, then you are either lying or not reading anymore. If you have kept reading I would like to thank you for your time. Really.
When the match ended we had about 50 pictures of our day in wonderfull Flushing. A couple of which are of a scared Indian girl in the dark - having nothing to do with my creepy behavior, but everything to do with the frightened person that she is. I thought she was not for real, but I heard afterwards she didnt like the dark and a 'forest' so close by. In truth it wasn't really a forest but more of a thick bush (no phun), and it was freakin' Flushing!
So far part 1 of the 'of lesser importance' adventures. And yes....that does suggest there will be a part 2. Please be there for it. Part 2 may even contain pictures. In my defense I did say already I buy things without using them properly. Does that mean you are to lazy to copy the pictures to your hardrive, Alex?
Yes. Yes it does.
For now at least. There will come a time when I feel up to it. When that time comes....Part 2, I swear.